Saying that you “feel like a zoo keeper rather than a parent” means admitting that your children are untamed. Here are some ways of telling whether or not they followed you home from the forest.
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You shamelessly put them on a leash.
For safety reasons, you’ve found a handy way of limiting damage that can be done when you leave the front door.
School gates equal combat zone
Parents of wild children call it “the walk of shame”, as your children perform right to the gates of school and then leave you to walk back while other parents turn away cringing.
Getting around on all fours trumps walking
Although they can actually walk on two legs, four are preferred, and you realise that your children might be scaling a high rise building before you finish your double espresso.
If your children are on the wild side when they are playing in your garden you could be watching through your kitchen window in anticipation of any breakages. If they are playing ball games and throwing near the windows and an accident happens it’s important to make sure you have quality glass installed. You want to make sure that it’s installed well and your using great materials. You could try companies like Gloucester Double Glazing to do this for you.
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Your kids prefer other animals to people
According to the BBC, having pets can save the NHS a fortune, because pet owners suffer less from mental health issues. This theory has yet to be proven in your own case.
Cutting nails and grooming is done with protective gloves on
Clipping can only be done while your kiddo is in deep sleep. As for the hair…
Perhaps they came with the black layer under their feet?
As they clamber up childrens wooden climbing frames and run barefoot through the sand at 9 o’clock at night, you realise that those feet are unlikely to see soap before bed.
Their bathroom hygiene leaves a lot to be desired
Their happy-go-lucky approach means your bathroom often looks like a disaster zone.
It’s pointless being bothered by stains and holes in their clothes
Perhaps they will outgrow the ability to destroy every garment that has ever been put on their backs.
Being “parent shamed” is something you roll with
This kind of behaviour from other parents is what causes monthly spikes in wine and ice cream sales.
You only befriend parents that share your pain
I’m sure they also love a good wine milkshake. This is a taste the parents of angels might never acquire.
You wouldn’t have it any other way!
A wild child drags you through fits of laughter and makes parenting the adventure it ought to be!
